Rita’s 40cm Hair Donation

Model, beauty queen, television host, fashion stylist, wife, mother – and most recently – blogger, Rita Lamah Hankach is a woman of as many titles as the passions she pursues in life. Rita has proven to be an ideal role model for young Lebanese women with her radiant beauty, both on the outside and on the inside. Alongside earning the second runner-up “Miss Lebanon” title in 2003 and honors in other beauty pageants, Rita has hosted a range of different television shows on Future TV and worked as the executive manager of famed Lebanese designer Zuhair Murad.

Rita, on the left, at Miss Lebanon 2003 (Photograph source: Lebanese Pageant)

Earlier this year, Rita donated a record 40 cm of her long locks for our “Make the Cut” hair donation campaign. It came as a delightful surprise to us and a gesture that has undoubtedly inspired others around her to also follow suite.

We took a few minutes with Rita to get a more intimate understanding of that experience and what it meant for her:

1. You recently made the cut and donated a generous 40 cm of your hair to our campaign. What inspired you to take this drastic step?

My cousin, Karen. One day, she came to my place with a totally new haircut and told me about how she had donated her hair.

Karen, Rita’s cousin, with her new haircut after donating (Photograph source: Life and Style and Co)

2. How was the experience for you? Did you decide in advance how much you would end up cutting?

The moment Karen told me her story, I decided that I would do it too and cut my hair short. It would grow back before I even knew it!

3. Have you donated your hair before? If so, when?

No, never.

It would be the first time Rita would make such a drastic cut (Photograph source: Life and Style and Co)

4. How have people responded to this change in your hairstyle and to your reasons for doing this?

My hair was very long and I took really good care of it. Everybody around me knew that. They called me crazy at first when I made this decision, but once they knew the reason behind doing it, they were very encouraging.

As for the hairstyle itself, I guess it wasn’t easy for my close friends to quickly adapt to it, especially since I’ve had long hair forever. It took me some time to get used to it myself.

5. Would you encourage others to make the cut? If so, how?

Definitely yes! I have also done two interviews on TV about the experience and have shared about it on my blog to encourage people.

Before, during and after the cut (Photograph source: Life and Style and Co)

6. Although many women don’t like wearing wigs during their treatment, the majority in Lebanon do whether for discretion of their sickness or to regain a sense of self. What’s your perspective on the role of wigs in helping a breast cancer patient cope? Are you for or against a patient wearing a wig during this period in their life?

Wearing a wig during treatment is very important and helpful – especially for a woman who might have already lost a very valuable part of her body because of breast cancer.

On the other hand, we should also work more on encouraging our society to accept this disease as cancer could happen to any of us. It should not be treated as a taboo.

7. We’ve all unfortunately been affected by cancer in one way or another – whether directly or indirectly through a friend or family member who’s had it. What is your relationship to this cause and what have you personally discovered through it?

Well, the person that I needed most in my life got affected by cancer. My mom fought it for two years before passing away at the age of 36. I was only 14 at the time! I remember I didn’t know what was wrong with her back then because of the social taboo I mentioned before.

My mom used to wear wigs and I guess I was in a state of denial. I didn’t want to admit or even think for a second that a disaster could happen to us – and it is a disaster indeed!

What did I discover? That cancer is a despicable, ugly, mean, evil disease that could happen to anyone at anytime in our lives.

We just have to live with it, try to enjoy our lives with our loved ones, and if we pray to God, we will definitely survive this awful experience.

8. Do you think there’s enough awareness about breast cancer in Lebanon? What do you think can be done more to help the women being diagnosed with it?

The campaign you’re doing is definitely helpful and different, however, I think it should be promoted further so that more women are aware of it.

Offering a free diagnosis in order to encourage everybody to get checked is also very important.

We’d like to thank Rita for donating and for sharing with us so openly about this important subject. If you wish to keep up with her latest news and projects, be sure to follow her blog: Life and Style and Co

Find out more about our “Make the Cut” hair donation campaign and check the hair donation guidelines here.

انا مش هينة

I know it’s been a while since I’ve shared any of my stories with you, but I just got back from another journey. For the past few months, I’ve been accompanying a new woman through her cancer treatment and couldn’t really leave her side until I knew she was ok. Now that she’s feeling much better and no longer really needs me (plus her hair has grown back), let me take this chance to share her story. By preparing for the worst upon hearing her diagnosis, I could tell her attitude was going to help her get through it. Cancer is scary but sometimes we give it more power than we should. It was a difficult phase in and of itself for her, but she also realized that it could be much worse and that she was stronger than she thought she was. “It’s good that it’s me and not my kids or husband.. I’m best to handle it” she told me one night. This strong maternal instinct allowed her to accept what was happening and not dwell on the detrimental “why me?”. One of the things she dreaded though was the hospital visits. I think it made her feel vulnerable and more sick than she was really feeling. No one likes hospitals if they’re a patient anyway, right? When she was diagnosed, word quickly spread. Everyone suddenly knew! It wasn’t something in her hands although she would have preferred to keep it private if only to not worry others about her condition. Sometimes it bothered her how people she didn’t speak to much before were suddenly concerned: “I don’t want people to just be there and ask about me when things are bad. Where were they when things were good but I also would have liked to have them in my life?” Even though everyone knew, she dealt with her treatment in privacy and even kept her children away so as not to deter their image of her during this frail period. Can you relate to this feeling? We didn’t take much turns with wearing the wig as I’d had with other women before her so it stayed on my head for most of her treatment. Definitely a first. When I asked her why, she said it was uncomfortable and weighed on her emotionally. The only time it really mattered for her to wear one was at her sister’s wedding so that she wouldn’t stand out. I saw some of the pictures and could barely tell she was wearing one. “انا مش هينة” which translated into English means “I’m tough” was her personal discovery along this journey. She said it with glowing pride and you could tell it was also an achievement for her. Right when our time was coming to a close, I asked her for some advice to pass on to the next women I meet along my journey. Her words? “Be cool. Life is harder than cancer. Just accept it as it is and remember, this is just another year. It will pass.”

My Wife’s Battle with Breast Cancer

“In September of 2007, I married the girl of my dreams. Five months later, Jennifer was diagnosed with Stage 3B Breast Cancer.” starts the story of an American couple’s battle against breast cancer and how it changed both their lives forever. Following plenty of ups and downs in her cancer treatment, Jennifer unfortunately passed away but the photographs taken by her husband Angelo stand as a honest testament of what this part of their life was like and the beauty she has left behind to inspire others.

This sharp and evoking photo-documentary project, entitled My Wife’s Battle with Breast Cancer: The Battle We Didn’t Chose, is intended to show the daily life of a cancer patient and, in Angelo’s words, to “humanize the face of cancer, on the face of my wife.. They show the challenge, difficulty, fear, sadness, loneliness and also love that we faced, that Jennifer faced, as she battled this disease. These photographs do not define us, but they are us.”

After seeing the photographs (they stir up emotions each time we look at them) and reading the moving story behind them, we wanted to share it with others in this part of the world in the hopes of spreading Jennifer and Angelo’s message.

A passerby stares as Jen hails a cab.

Below is an interview we recently conducted with Angelo himself about the couple’s unbreakable bond, the battle, the photographs and what’s next for this project:

1. What was your first reaction upon hearing your wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008 and how did you deal with it?

When we found out that Jennifer had breast cancer, I remember immediately going numb as the world, except for Jen, blurred out of focus. Jen and I were close from the beginning of our relationship and we had a wordless bond that would never be and could never be broken. I remember looking into each other’s eyes and knowing that as long as we had each other, we would deal with everything that came our way.

From the beginning of our battle with cancer, Jen and I communicated with each other. We listened and knew that we were still in love, still a married couple, still best friends. There were times when our relationship was heavier on my shoulders and other times when Jen carried the load. On our wedding day we said “forever, in good times and bad, in sickness and health,” – both Jennifer and I took that seriously and we lived for every second with each other.

2. What was your main role, as her husband, during her treatment and what advice can you share with other men whose partners are going (or about to go) through the same thing? 

A home nurse cleans and inspects Jen’s PICC line, a catheter that is inserted into her vein and runs to a large vein near the heart for intravenous access of in Jen’s case, chemotherarpy and pain medications.

My main role was whatever Jen needed. If Jen needed to laugh, I was a comedian. If Jen needed quiet, I didn’t talk. If Jen needed love, my arms were open. I don’t think there is any set way to be or road to follow but what helped me was listening to Jen and trying to stay a step ahead of her.

Flowers, doing the dishes or laundry, making the bed… all of these little things made life easier and more enjoyable for Jen. Jen made things easy because she was so positive and graceful but I still had to pay attention and at times read her mind.

It is also important for partners to take care of themselves both physically and emotionally. Find something that distracts you, something to channel your emotions into. For me it was my camera. Exercise, friendships, art – find something to rejuvenate your spirit.

3. What inspired you to start documenting your daily life with cancer through photography? Was it a conscious choice?

Jen and I lived in Manhattan but most of our family members and friends lived in Ohio. After Jen’s re-diagnosis, we found that they didn’t understand how serious things were and how much we needed from them. We tried talking and sending emails but it seemed like people were still not getting it. Then we realized that unless they saw our day-to-day, they wouldn’t be able to understand. Without walking in our shoes, how could they really understand?

That’s when I started to make photographs. The photographs were initially intended just for family and friends so that they would become more involved – we needed them to be with us. When I started posting the photos online, people reacted and Jen and I realized that this was a way that we could make a positive impact during such a trying time.

4. Did Jennifer feel uncomfortable at all with being photographed in this sensitive state? 

From the beginning of our fight against cancer, Jennifer was open and shared her experiences. Jen wanted people to know what she was learning and she was very aware of how, by sharing their experiences, others before her had helped her get through each day.

A nurse pushes chemotherapy treatment, so toxic that the nurse must wear protective clothing, into Jen’s medi-port.

When I started to make these photographs, I told Jen that whenever she didn’t want the camera around all she had to do was say stop. I told her that if she wanted all of the photos to go away I would break the hard drives with no questions asked.

There was only one time when Jen asked me to put the camera away. and in a typical Jennifer style, she said, “One more photo, then stop.” When she said this I was so happy because I knew how much she trusted me.

Jen rests with our cat Brea while I prepare her daily pill regimen.

5. Is there a particular reason you chose black and white photography to share her story?

I’ve always loved black and white photography, and felt that by “removing” the color I could really focus on what was in the image.

6. Which of the photographs from the series was her favorite? Which was yours? 

All of these photos are so close to my heart, I don’t know that I can choose one image as my favorite. The best I can say is the photos of Jen and I together are my favorites because it was Jen and me.

I think Jen would say the same.

7. What have you been able to achieve so far by showing the photographs? How have people, and especially cancer patients, reacted to them?

Late for a brain radiation apointment, nauseated and tired, the smells from our neighbrohood were nearly too much for Jen.

The reactions to these photos has been quite humbling. I have received more than a dozen emails from women who scheduled mammograms because of Jen. I cannot put into words how this makes me feel. Some days it is all that I can hang onto to keep moving forward.

When I started to share these photos, I was concerned that I would scare people, especially people who were recently diagnosed or in the midst of their fight. Thankfully, people with cancer have been inspired to keep fighting and Jen has become a hero and inspiration to many people.

8. What are your future plans with this project? Are there any breast cancer groups you’re currently (or planning on) collaborating with?

Right now, I am about 75% finished with editing these photos and will be publishing a book about our story.

I am also starting a non-profit organization in Jen’s name that will assist people with cancer as they deal with the daily financial struggles that come as a result of cancer treatments.

Waiting to speak with a radiologist about treatment of the cancer in her bone and on her liver, Jen is anxious and irritated.

This July-September, my photos will be exhibited at The Gathering Place in Cleveland, OH. The Gathering Place is a non-profit with a mission “to support, educate and empower individuals and families touched by cancer through programs and services provided free of charge.”

Is there anything else you’d like to share with our readers?

Cancer is not a battle that should be fought alone. Support from family and friends is so important. Don’t stay away from someone who is fighting cancer because you don’t know what to say or do: you do not have to “say the right thing,” or know all the answers.

Just be there.

Send a card and say “I love you.” Send a text message with a smile, bring dinner, what ever.. Just don’t run away.

Celebrating our 4 year anniversary at a retaurant in Greenwhich Village, Jen stares off in the distance.

Jen always said to “Love every morsel of your loved ones” and she was right. No one knows what tomorrow will bring. You don’t have to be happy every second, just don’t take any seconds for granted.

Check out the “My Wife’s Battle with Breast Cancer: The Battle We Didn’t Choose” website and facebook page for more information. All the photographs in this post were shared with us by and are copyright of Angelo Merendino.

Get Inspired.

As a designer (graphic, that is), I can’t help but get inspired by the Bras for a Cause campaign – there’s so much one can do when designing a bra! Whenever I’m doing some research for the campaign and a bra would catch my eye, my first thought is directly: Gotta share this with the designers taking part!

I spent 30 minutes on Pinterest today and put together the following inspiration board with bras and bra-ideas. Keep in mind, all designers taking part, we’re looking for some really creative designs but also designs that can actually later be produced and sold in stores to support this cause. Tone down the outrageousness just slightly 😉

Hope these clippings inspire some ideas:

Find out more about the Campaign: http://www.fustany.com/BrasforaCause

Keep in mind, these are just to get the ball rolling if you’re stuck for ideas. We’re positive everyone’s going to come up with some very interesting results. Even for the “Her Bra” Mastectomy Bra Category, try to find similar inspirations to make your designs stand out. The best designs tell a story or reflect a part of the woman’s personality (whether it’s her lifestyle, character, career, passions, etc). Let that fuel your imagination and good luck to everyone taking part!

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Find out more about the Campaign: www.BrasforaCause.me (Organized by One Wig Stand and Fustany.com)

Keep updated on Facebook: www.Facebook.com/BrasforaCauseME and Twitter: @BrasforaCauseME

Red Velvet

Qamar - inspirational breast cancer survivor and world traveler.

I met Qamar during a photojournalism workshop I recently attended in Istanbul, Turkey. It’s not easy sharing a bunk on the third floor of a hostel, but she did it. Qamar, who’s from Pakistan, will not let things hold her back. She’s still recovering from her battle with breast cancer but is determined to make the most of her time to travel and have new experiences. When I last left her, she was going to tour the rest of Turkey.

I deeply admire her and enjoyed the conversations we had. Some, accidentally while going up and down the stairs. Others, more personal. We spent one afternoon together where she opened up to me. I better understood why she was traveling on her own and what she hoped to get out of it. “I just want to be free,” she said.

People around us were instantly drawn to her and she didn’t hold back dancing in the middle of a jewelry shop! I hope she’s in better health and happy wherever in the world she is now. And of course, taking lovely photos as I bet she is..

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